Especially if the picture is huge. It's like finding my hometown; Selma, NC, population 6,820, on a map of the world.
Not so easy.
It's a sort of comparison to what my life has been like lately, more specifically, my thinking lately. Big picture thinking, coordinating things that may have a lifetime effect - and resenting those things that interfere with doing the 'important' work.
I get easily bogged down trying to sort out the 'worthwhile' things from the 'mundane,' and somehow I came to the conclusion that I am the one who gets to decide one from the other. Evidently, I am an expert. (Ha!) How do I know if politely answering a call from a wholesaler at work will have a more lasting impact than preparing a craft for the toddler class or re-organizing the church kitchen? I can certainly tell you which I'd rather be doing.
But that shouldn't be the crux of my decision making. The question I should be asking is, "Would the attitude that I have toward what I am doing please my Lord?" Honest answer: No.
My attitude has not been Christ-like in all the things I've been doing. I've been growing in my vision for Children's Ministry, God has begun to fill me with the desire, passion and vision that I've been asking for. (Another post all together.) And this is great. But in that, I've been having a very bad attitude towards those things that I may not be passionate about, but are no less important in His eyes.
Because our hearts are what is important in His eyes. And I hadn't been guarding the thoughts I let in.
Our women's group studied the Beatitudes last night. I always thought that was a funny name, until someone said it was the attitudes that should be in our lives. (Side-note: how come some words can get sandwiched together and not others? See how my brain is, I distract myself.) And those are convicting enough in themselves, but Matthew 5:13-16 really spoke to me yesterday.
"You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men. You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before men, that they may see your good deeds and praise your Father in heaven."
It doesn't say anything about being salty or a light when you want to, or when you enjoy what you're doing. It says that we are the salt of the earth and we are the light of the world, it's not situational. No matter where I go, I am representing Jesus. I'm his daughter. We are connected. (Still amazes me.)
The reason I'm on this earth is in that paragraph. It's not to be a good wife, to (hopefully) be a good mom, to be a children's ministry director, or an administrative assistant. I'm here to let my light shine before men, that they may see my good deeds and praise my Father in heaven.
The Holy Spirit really is the best teacher, and I don't feel condemned or belittled, I am convicted and challenged. There's a big difference. I am so thankful to be taught, and will put this verse to memory... for future attitude checks.