Surrender

There is something about Calvin & Hobbes... I hope if I have a kid like Calvin that I'll be able to see the humor in it! Everytime I read one, it makes me think. Well, this one makes me ponder my pride.

When I left college, I thought for sure that the world was my proverbial oyster and that everyone would marvel at my academic prowess. I was standing in the fort of my life armed with ammunition of spectacular grades, internship experience, several awards, extensive involvement and the 'proof' that I had what it took.

The world doesn't so much see it like that. They saw many recent graduates with great grades, bundles of awards and oodles of charm. I was just one. And they weren't so much concerned with my pride.

Well, God had plans. He brought a verse to my attention the summer before my senior year in high school and He has been showing it true to me ever since then, and I pray He will continue to show me more and more that it is true. Proverbs 19:21 "You can make many plans, but the Lord's purpose will prevail."

About a month before we were to get married, Daniel got a promotion so we had to move to Greensboro, NC, much to my dismay. We looked at 13 apartments one day, finally found one that felt like home, packed up and moved.

For about a year we were fine, attending a few churches, never finding one where we fit. Some were too big, one didn't preach the Word (yikes), and the rest just didn't feel right. I yearned for friends that I could open up to, a church family to serve and love, and I started to get desparate.

During this time, Daniel was going through some rough times at work and was contemplating leaving. We were approached by our home church pastor about him taking a position at the church, he interviewed and was offered the job. I already had a house picked out and visions of being a pastors wife and grocery shopping with my Mom every week. But neither of us felt a peace about it... so back we went to Greensboro.

Around this time was when I really felt a horrific yearning. For something more. I cried to God. I begged him to let us move. Anywhere. I had to get away from this town, I had to get away from a job I despised, and I had to find a church, but I didn't know where else to go. I was depressed, seeking and felt totally ignored. So, I was mad at God. Horribly. I still 'knew' He had a plan, but I was so upset with Him for not sharing it or for seemingly taking away hope. At least a year we had this 'struggle.' Me knowing God was doing something, but resenting Him like crazy. Desparate is the only word I can think of to describe it.

I thought one day, if I could find some friends it would be easier. So, loving Craig's List as I do, I checked the listings for bands. I thought if I could back-up sing for a band maybe I could find some friends that way. God, in His absolute providence, led me to an ad seeking members for a praise band at a church! I got excited! Flutterings in my heart excited! Hopeful excited! And wonder of wonders, Daniel had that Sunday off work! (which was a rare occurence indeed, being in retail management)

We showed up... and it was like home. Seacoast Greensboro, where have you been all my life! Worship was great, the pastors are incredible. I have never been more encouraged, loved and lifted up since I came there. Daniel and I are hooked on God's plan.

I'll have to finish this later...