Thursday, January 29, 2009

Interesting week

This week has been interesting. It's been a trying time for several reasons, but I'm so hopeful. I have such an incredible peace about what's going on in current circumstances: every day life, the future, the economy, family struggles.

I work in a financial firm, so I'm inundated with bad news every day. I'm a person who is very empathetic. I tend to feel things deeply and make a lot of other's situations my own, so its been very diffcult for me to wade blindly through things right now. Clients call in that have lost half of their retirement accounts and are 68. These people need the money they've saved or they won't be able to have a roof over their heads or pay their electric bill or go to the grocery store without wondering if they have to choose to eat this month or the next. Not to mention medical bills. ::sigh:: In a lot of situations, it's not that grave. But in some situations, it is.

But the Lord, in His infinite mercy, has offered me comfort and peace in the midst of depressing news, friends who desperately need help and a personal situation that threatens to cripple me emotionally.

Psalm 32:7 - You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance.

Lamentations 3:22-23 - Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness.

Joshua 1:9 - Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.

Isaiah 42:6 - I will lead the blind by ways the have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them; I will turn the darkness into light before them and make the rough places smooth. These are the things I will do; I will not forsake thee.

Monday, January 26, 2009

Up nights

Insomnia has to be one of the worst things anyone could experience. The intense desire to rest completely, while comfortable amid warm, fluffy blankets in a dark room... I don't struggle with it, thankfully, because I make for a pretty grumpy person in the mornings even when I do get enough sleep. Last night was an exception.

I'm sure it was God. I felt like I was struggling with Him, Genesis 32 style. He was telling me to pray, I just couldn't figure out about what exactly... so I just started praying for everything I could think of. Mostly for the church I am privileged to be a member of. ( Every time I think about it I get that feeling in my stomach... that kind of queasy feeling right in the bottom of my stomach that, in the past, has accompanied being spoken to or used by God. On a personal level as well as one with the church, I feel like we're on the cusp of something. Our campus pastor encouraged us to 're-imagine' what we, as a church, could be in Greensboro. So, last night in my wrestling, I imagined. (And I'm quite good at it, ask any of my teachers and they'd tell you I spent an inordinate amount of time dreaming.) I prayed for what I was imagining to come to pass. I see a second service. I see a consistently organized building, I see a safe place for anyone hurting or with questions, I see all members pitching in, I see those lost coming through our doors and I see a fire.

So, I began to pray for myself, that God would light the fire in me. My consistent prayer has been that God would make Philippians 1:6 true in my life. That He would finish the work He started in me years ago. And a couple of days ago in a short devotional I try to read was a commentary on Isaiah 64:8, "We are like clay, and you are the potter; your hands made us all." Max Lucado encourages that "we are tweakable!" So, at 1am this morning, my prayers were lifted to the Lord begging Him to make me worthy of the 'fire.' I'm the clay, no matter how many times God has to start over with me, I want to be molded into something useful.

Friday, January 23, 2009

Plastic bags

I really wanted my first post to be about something cool and insightful... but instead its going to be something funny. I was driving home yesterday afternoon after a crazy day and just wanted a nap. So, needless to say, I wasn't the happiest I've ever been. I was about to get off on my exit off of Wendover and glanced to the car next to me and burst out laughing. The entire car was filled with plastic grocery bags. You could not see in the windows at all. It was stuffed to the top, even the passenger's side! At the moment, I was cursing myself for not getting a camera phone, because I would have sped up and followed the guy. I can see myself speeding down the road and getting pulled over and trying to explain to the officer that I was just trying to get a picture of the apparently passionate plastic bag collector.

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Hello, Blogging World!

Funny how I'm expecting this to be a grand entrance worthy of a Disney movie...

I hope some people will find encouragement here, that they are not alone or different in their struggles with life and faith and everything else. I hope I will be able to understand myself better by regular reflection and honesty.

So, hello out there to those who know me and those who may drop by that don't. I'm hoping to muse, offer some Calvin and Hobbes reflections, rant, talk about my personal journey, etc. Really anything that's on my mind.

But now I have to go balance my checkbook.


Oh, and Thanks to Heather Coates for the loverly picture above. Ahhh Metamorphosis. There's something brilliant about it.