The chocolate: it taunts me.

I have always had a love relationship with sweets. I am a big fan of cake, cookies, brownies, doughnuts, you name it, I'll eat it when it comes to sweets.

However, I never have had a desire for candy bars. Don't get me wrong, those little fun sized snickers bars and reeses cups have been eaten often, but full sized bars are just too much. I'd end up eating half and getting tired of it.

Lately though, in addition to my craving for McDonalds french fries and Boston Cream Doughnuts has come a raging desire to shove as many 3 Musketeers bars as possible into my mouth. I'm comforting myself with the fact that of all the candy bars, 3 Musketeers really is the least fattening. I know because it says so on the package.

Another struggle I've been having is drinking enough water. I detest water. It does absolutely nothing but fill my now miniscule bladder at lightening speed requiring me to waddle frequently down the hall to the bathroom. Water has no taste, and I absolutely cannot drink it with meals. So between meals I've been trying to force myself to drink it. On the whole, it's going well, and I will let you in on my secret.

It's the 3 Musketeers bars!

For some reason, water is refreshing when coupled with my lovely, lovely candy bar. So, really, I'm doing this for our little girl.

Speaking of which, who would have thought it would be so hard to come up with a name? Daniel and I have only agreed on one, but I'd like another option or two. He's said no to the two names I've adored. Of course, I did the same to his boy name so I guess I have no room to talk. But seriously, who doesn't like the names Rosalie or Callie? I am seriously doubting his taste in names. But not his taste in women.

I'm going to finish my 3 Musketeers and my glass of water, and try to talk myself into buying a second one so I can drink some more water. (Was that convincing?)

Easter Egg Hunt

Our church, Seacoast, in Greensboro North Carolina, hosts an Easter Egg Hunt every year on Palm Sunday after church. It's held in a local neighborhood park and any and all are welcome to come. We like to do it up big, blow the kids minds with how many eggs stuffed with sugar and preservatives there are on the ground.

It's a good time, and one I'm sure to enjoy more this year because I'm expecting my own little girl. And I know that next year, she'll be with me at the Easter Egg Hunt. Though still too small to hunt for the eggs.

I attended the doctor today, my first visit in my third trimester. I was told everything looks "fabulous!" I'm gaining weight at the appropriate amount, my belly measurements are great, my girls heartbeat is strong! But now I'm going to the doctor every two weeks. I just can't believe it's that time already. When the doctor came in the office, he said, "Well you've only got about 13 weeks to go!" I almost started hyperventilating! Not that I'm not looking forward to it, because I am! But only 13 more weeks. That's not long at all... And on other related news, Daniel and I thought of a full name that we both like! And no, I won't be sharing until she's born. It's a surprise! But the meanings are great too!

Now to bring this post full circle, aside from the opportunity to daydream about my little upcoming bundle of joy, there is a big reason I'm looking forward to the Easter Egg Hunt. Announced on Sunday morning this week: there will be funnel cakes available.

That is yet another Easter miracle. Usually reserved for the fair and other carnival-like festivities, the funnel cake is heavenly in flavor. As I have been craving all manner of sweets, this pronouncement was very well received. :)

I cannot wait to bite into the sugary goodness.

Bust out your...

Bikinis!

There's going to be a heatwave in Greensboro this weekend, and I am exultant!

Both Saturday and Sunday are listed as a high of 51! Read that, 5-1. And guess what else? Partly cloudy to sunny! I don't think there are any more joyful words that can be combined with our measly 26 letters.

Sunny.

What a prospect!

Though this is not really warm enough to break out the swimsuits unless you have a heated pool or hot-tub, (in which case, can I come over?) it will feel probably not warm, but not frigid.

Not frigid!

What a prospect!

Snow, Snow Go Away

In North Carolina here lately, it's felt a lot like somewhere much more northern.... like maybe Ohio or something. It's been consistently cold and has snowed already three or four times. Let's get something straight, this is the South. When it snows here, it's a big deal. So four times already is huge! Most of the time, we'll have several days a month where the high is 60 during the winter. That hasn't so much happened this year.

I'm a spring and fall kind of girl, I like those in between seasons where things are blooming or dying, it just seems so cyclical and makes me ponder life. Never ever have I been so ready to see Spring come. I celebrate when the high is going to be mid 40s.

I can tell it's coming though, and I can tell by the way the sun shines through the window at my desk. When it is sunny, that is. In early January, the sun would be behind the building across the street by 4pm, and mostly twilight by the time I left. That's just depressing.

Now at 4:00pm the sun breaks from above the awning over our door and begins to tan the right side of my face. I soak it up because I think I have a Vitamin D deficiency by now, but I'm sure to have more freckles on that side of my face this year. And by 5:00 it's still not behind the building across the street. So I go outside to my car celebrating the sun and the fact that I can tell the days are getting longer.

We're halfway through February... I can make it!

My Mom

My Mom just said something to me that was so profound and encouraged me so much.

God offers grace 100% to 100% of the people who ask for it. God doesn't have to line people up according to how bad their circumstances are to offer Himself to them, He will give grace and comfort to those who ask.

That was so freeing to me.

I've felt so bad about being angry. The things that have gone on in my life have not been fun. But my husband is still gainfully employed, I am not sick anymore, I have incredibly supportive family and friends so my life is good. But I'm still upset and I feel so guilty for desperately desiring God's intervention and presence in my life at this point in time because there are others who are worse off than I am.

How backwards.

Doesn't God want us to seek Him with all our hearts, no matter what our circumstances? I've been neglecting to seek out my Savior even though that's what both of us want and exactly what I need.

My Mom always knows just how to encourage me.

All not so quiet.

I've been absent for so long.

From pretty much everything.

You see, I found out I was expecting on October 6th, due June 13. Very exciting news. But then I got what they call Hyperemesis Gravidarum, and I'm telling you it seems like my world has crashed down around my feet ever since then. (Please visit www.hyperemesis.org if you'd like to learn more.)

I was hospitalized three times, couldn't drive myself to doctor's appointments, lost more than 10% of my total weight (which was normal pre-pregnancy). I would nearly faint when I had to stand up, had to crawl up the stairs to bed and was lucky if I could get down 6 oz of fluid a day. It was just not good. Now I do feel better, thanks to some time and medicine.

But I lost my job, mainly due to this. I never loved my job. It was a job. It paid the bills and now it can't do that. I'm so tired of hearing "everything happens for a reason" or "God has a plan for this" even though I know it's true. I'm upset, scared and I just want to be happy I'm going to have a baby. Being a mom is all I ever wanted to do, and I don't really feel excited about it. I'm sure it will come, but I feel like I may just be battling depression instead.

October 13

Fall is here. Cool weather has arrived. Down blankets are on the bed. Socks are a staple.

The leaves are changing, the sky is lovely today.

And I feel awful! Bah!

Cold and Flu season hit early this year, and I got myself a cold! A grade-a one. It's not joking around. Fever on friday, and I've been exhausted ever since. I'm stuffed up, so I have a consistent headache. And it drains down my throat making it swollen and raw... and my stomach nauseous. And today it's decided to settle in my chest. Lovely, I know. I'm such an open book.

I'm going home today determined to enjoy how pretty it is, darn my cold! I'm putting on my hoodie and my sneakers and taking a short walk and looking at the trees!

I've got to get better by this weekend... it's the annual fair trip! :) Hello roasted corn and apple cider!